I don't want to be alone.

I’m scared. I’m scared of the many responsibilities that are on my shoulders right now. I’m feeling like I am Raju from the 3 idiots with how I am acting. Fear is seeping through me making me feel immobilize. Uncertainties are coming in and out of my mind. Helplessness is making itself known in my life.

It’s not like I’m a pessimistic person. On the contrary, I’m brimming with positivity that sometimes I feel like I’m already faking it. Maybe that’s the big disadvantage of being optimistic. When the time comes that all the suppression of the negative auras and vibes explodes, optimistic people will simply be rendered immobilized and powerless. When that one moment when an optimistic person puts his guard down and welcome the negative thoughts it is sure that more damages will be made than when having those negative thoughts once in a while.

I’ve always been optimistic. Well, I try to always be one despite any situation. But maybe I also have the right to be scared for all the negative things that will happen. Maybe it’s not a bad thing to feel powerless and helpless. Maybe it’s free to be uncertain for some things and be doubtful of some circumstances. Maybe it’s okay to be pessimistic to balance out everything.